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FM​.​era

by des hume

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1.
FM.era 01:12
Tell me what I want to hear Before the phone line goes and cuts us off again Let me make it good and clear No distance is gonna come between us now
2.
Gemini 02:42
I'm tired of being polite and holding back all that I need I'm tired of bending myself to the shape of the lover you want me to be If you've got another then I've gotta know If the things that you're saying to me Are gonna last more than a night Gemini mind, can I make you see that I don't think I want it that way No matter how much you say you love me I need more than words and a little faith If I'm gonna let you in And maybe you believe in All that you think I want you to say But I don't think I want it that way I'm fine with having good times but this isn't like anything past And you swore that nothing before ever meant quite as much this has Maybe it's just for the night Or maybe you felt it would last forever But you're always changing your mind One minute you want me and then you're gone I don't think I want it that way No matter how much you say you love me I need more than words and a little faith If I'm gonna let you in And maybe you believe in All that you think I want you to say But I don't think I want it that way I'm a mess but I'm holding it back I'm holding it back I'm holding it back I'm a mess but I'm holding it back I'm holding it back I'm holding it back I don't think I want it that way No matter how much you say you love me I need more than words and a little faith If I'm gonna let you in And maybe you believe in All that you think I want you to say But I don't think I want it that way
3.
Huh. 02:01
I'm sorry But I wasn't paying attention If you could repeat the last question I promise to focus this time It feels like I've spent my whole adult life Waiting For somebody wiser And patient To point out the road signs for me La da da If there's no such thing as miracles A universe explained away by particles Then why does the president pray? La da da I stay up staring into rabbit holes The Kevin Bacon separation of the animals Satisfaction of my lizard brain is critical Sorry, I'm no good at this Sorry, I'm no good at this Sorry, I'm no good at this
4.
Quarterback 03:05
You were the high school quarterback But you can't run like you used to You've got the kids and your job Selling cars at the lot That your father-in-law gave you You gave me head in the locker room And said you'd kill me if I said so Think of how it could have been If you'd opened up back then Who was ever gonna stop you? You were the king of the shitty teens You called me faggot in the courtyard Pushed me down so they all could see You gotta show them that you're so hard Well your best years are far behind And no one treats you like they used to But now you're calling me your friend Asking to meet up again I hate that I can't refuse you How do I do it right Show me yours Show you mine Kiss you where I left the bruise You know I've got their eyes Watching for any sign Anything that they can use So don't hold back Hit me as hard as you can Don't hold back Hit me as hard as you can You were the high school quarterback High school quarterback High school quarterback High school quarterback
5.
How come the people that I fall in love with never want me? I've held my tongue so many times it's coming back to bite me I've always been polite, head over heels but I never ever let on I hate to say it but I tend to find most people boring But then you came along and I lost all my self control and you made a fool of me Can't get my foot from my teeth I'm hopelessly into you If I'm a sparkler you're a bottle rocket And there's no chance of lifting off with you I wanna hold on, but you're slipping through my fingers And I'm not ready to let go of you I won't admit it but I don't know what it is I'm after I'm like a dog that's chasing cars I don't know what I'd do if I ever caught up to you You're a shape in the water and you're slipping out of view If I'm a sparkler you're a bottle rocket And there's no chance of lifting off with you I wanna hold on, but you're slipping through my fingers And I'm not ready to let go of you
6.
Baby says that I'm like Leo, you my Rose Save the world, I drive the boat I ain't playing when I say we in the bedroom acting roles Patrick Swayze in the Ghost I can be a heartbreaker honey but I've met my match Baby can you stay up by my side? I want you more than anything I've wanted before I never know, I never know when to stop I'm in love with you I want you on the widescreen, hi-def Surround me like a 90's IMAX I wanna do Things that no man has ever satisfied in you I can be a heartbreaker honey But I met my match Wondering what you do behind my back I want you more than anything I wanted more I never know, I never know when to stop I'm in love with you
7.
Tearaways 02:23
I wish that anything could touch The feeling of your fingers going through my tearaways I know it wasn't love We were just a couple of kids Playing around in the closet Besides It was no secret that you weren't quite as open about it I didn't mind Then we both went and grew up Kept it going on and off Then you got a girl and we kinda drifted away You started acting kinda tough Learned to fight and muscled up And I never really questioned it all (I thought it could be tough love Had to prove something to yourself but) Then one night you got fucked up Called to tell me you were taught how to make a man feel good When we were young And that changed everything How could I blame you for anything? All I could say was I'm so fucking sorry I wish I'd known about it Wish I could have told somebody Wish you hadn't been alone I'm so fucking sorry If I could kill him with my own two hands I would
8.
HOO-AH 01:30
You can be my lover But I don't want to think about you as the only one I don't need no other But keeping one eye open is half of the fun Dont u see: it's not about commitment Anyone can fall in love You're a part of me And we're living in the moment Isn't that enough? What more could you want from me? HOO-AH If you want me HOO-AH Then you gotta give me time HOO-AH I believe in you and I And you know I'm gonna give it to ya HOO-AH If you need me HOO-AH To lay it out on the line HOO-AH I can change but I believe in you and I
9.
Chatroulette 03:44
He's got the TOR browser running For when his porn habit gets out of hand The only way he can come is Showing off for the girls on the cam He's not so bad, not so bad Just don't skip past him, don't skip past She's in the chatroom on weekends Or when her boyfriend won't pick up the phone She'll show her tits just to feel that Someone wants her when she's all alone She's never had him in her bed But he's the best she's ever had And they hit the ground running When he gets her over the edge Hit the ground running, hit the ground running Again and again and again If it's wrong well I don't think I ever would care to be right So I'll click and I'll click and I'll click til I find you tonight He's just a face on a screen but Somehow she knows that he would understand And with her eyes closed she feels him Reaching out through the tips of her hands And it can be enough To log on and log off from love One click away from fantasy Is that so wrong anyway? And they hit the ground running When he gets her over the edge Hit the ground running, hit the ground running Again and again and again If it's wrong well I don't think I ever would care to be right So I'll click and I'll click and I'll click til I find you tonight Let's get down on it Just get your pants down Show me that you got it How much you want it from me Don't think about it Just push the cam down Show me how your body wants my body wants my body Hit the ground running Hit the ground running
10.
It's not love It's not love Not love To me It's not love It's not love Not love To me Don't call it love if you're not sure Don't go breaking her heart again Don't call it love if you're not sure Don't go breaking her heart again
11.
Viral, idol, teenage dream online You can't scroll past - they'll find you Skincare routine, vibe out Sad boys, e-girls: stay in your lane Glorified adspace, marketed pain Pop pills, stay chill, question nothing Cuz the quiet don't riot the american dream Inside out, round by round Pushed up just to fall back down but They don't own you like that Get a one, two step and throw it right back Chasing cheese, round and round Found a job in lost and found Baby cheek, honey glazed skin Looking at the mirror to find the happiness Never gonna dream Just stay awake Vegetarian - get that steak away Cuz I want no beef with no one I don't wanna fight Pacifism is the real one Inside out, round by round Pushed up just to fall back down but They don't own you like that Get a one, two step and throw it right back
12.
13.
Tommy grew up comfortable and middle class He had a loving mum and a loving dad Never wanted for nothing, They gave him all they had Saved up to pay for his college, Braces and summer camp He never gave them much trouble He never tried to talk back He said his prayers every evening He had it all in the bag He had the right look Right school Luck on his side He'd get a shot at the title He'd live a comfortable life He's such a promising boy Guitars! Tommy got a job after 22 He bought a new corolla He bought a brand name suit He got a bachelor apartment In the right part of town And kept a quarter of his salary In savings for now But sometimes when he was lying alone in bed at night A quiet voice suggested that this wasn't quite right He played the part he'd been given He wore the shape of a man He'd put his faith in the system And it was going to plan He's such a promising boy What can you say when it's all going your way? And the map of success is charted out on the page? You spent your whole adolescence feeding a hunger for praise You kept your nose to the grinder to get an annual raise You never learned how to ask yourself if this is the dream In the end, does it matter when you're surpassing your means? You'll get approved for a mortgage Get married by 29 You'll take the kids on vacation What more could you want from life? You're such a promising boy I You can't stop me now I You can't stop me now I You can't stop me now I You can't stop me now Alright, one more time with feeling then And this is where it picks up You've never done nothing daring You've never felt more alive Than when you stood in the mirror Tucking your dick in your thighs And daddy said you were different Told you to keep it inside But you took mamas mascara When you went out for the night Not everyone is cut out To be caught up in the race And you can guarantee someone's ready to stand in your place But if you're stuck in a rut Or if you're down on your luck Well let me ask you something: Have you tried not giving a fuck? Just give up! On being a promising boy Hey man, just give up You're not a promising boy You can't stop me now
14.
I hope you know, wherever you are I'm always going to call you home The years go by and I'm getting on But I'm never gonna let you go I'm sorry that I couldn't find The words to put you into song Somehow it just didn't feel right But I know you'd have me carry on You'd say It's alright if you're too tired We don't have to talk about it We can just pick it up some other time Don't cry just keep me in mind And if you think about it I am sure that you'll find that I am Never really gone I guess I was always afraid If I put you in song I would give you away Like you'd slip through my fingers From the pen to the page To become just one more tragedy Sung from the stage But you'd say It's alright, you know I'd like To be more than some memory you keep inside So if you just write what comes to my mind Think about it, I'm sure that you'll find that I am Never really gone

about

When I was 8 years old my parents gave me a small cassette/radio boombox for christmas, a charcoal gray cylinder with an antennae that could be stretched over a metre long. My first cassette tape was a gift from them - a copy of Peter Gabriel’s So. My second cassette tape was the Backstreet Boy’s Millenium, which I purchased months later with my birthday money. Thus the foundations of my tastes were born.

I loved my boombox. I borrowed albums and audiobooks from the library, engaged in early piracy recording songs from the radio, and built a small collection of tapes that lived in a canvas bag under my bed. My favourite thing was to pull it under the covers after my lights had been turned out, switch the radio on with the faintest possible volume and press it to my ear. There were worlds to explore every evening - snatches of news, radio plays, late night hip hop playlists, chat shows, radio preachers, and best of all the ghostly hints of channels just barely audible through the static. With my antennae swiveled in the right direction I could pick up channels from the hundreds of kilometres outside of my bedroom, and beyond. There were endless waves passing through the air, and I wanted to capture all of them.

Trends have shifted - CDs and mp3s took over, and laid the foundation for the streaming juggernaut. The thrill of exploration has been overtaken by the ease of curation - anything you want can be in your ears in seconds, and algorithms now dictate the rise and fall of pop music. I don’t think this is a bad thing, it’s opened up the world to artists who would never have had a chance to access the industry machine - but I still listen to the radio, and I’ve discovered some of my favorite artists from snippets that I’ve caught in the last seconds, play logs I’ve tracked down, and sounds that I’ve strained to hear peeking through the hiss of white noise. There is something special that happens when you have to put in a little bit of work to discover an artist - something that brings you closer to them and makes those songs a part of you. That world is still out there, with a vibrant community of music lovers making magic happen everyday on air. This record is a love letter to them.

However, this is not an album about the radio. This isn’t a COVID record either. It’s a joyous game of dress up, trying on genres and identity, exploring sex, fear, perversion, anger, love and gender through a carousel of sound. I love this album. I loved making it - recording it alone in a small apartment, mixing it in a week-long burst in between jobs and building its visual identity with friends. I made this album to satisfy my own gemini spirit, never content with any one thing. I made my version of a pop record, and I look forward to what comes next. This is the ephemera of my hard drive. This is the FM.era, and you’re all invited.

credits

released June 23, 2023

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des hume Vancouver, British Columbia

The des hume initiative is a for-profit organization dedicated to researching utopian social dynamics.

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